The End of an Era

Today is the end of the first decade of the 21st century, and I'm celebrating!
There's so much to be grateful for this decade [a few notable highlights]...

• Marrying the best man in the world for me
• Graduating from college with an incredible education
  
• Working at two of the best churches in America who've allowed me to do what I love most with people I love dearly
• Moving to CA...I was made for this place!!!
• Buying our first home and making it truly ours little by little
• Traveling the world, especially Africa
  
• Walking with some of the best women in the world whom I love with my whole heart
  
• And of course...Beginning our adoption journey!!!!!!!

Obviously, this decade has been filled with challenges, raw pain, and heartache [see previous postings :)], but today I choose to celebrate the goodness of the 21st century's first decade.

Happy New Year!

P.S. Today is my 100th post!!!! Thanks to those of you who've read every single one [probably just my parents and maybe Brian]. And thanks to you who've joined along the way. I'm amazed that this blog has been read over 8000 times in the past 9 months. I hope it's been helpful, humorous, and healing...

2 Months on Wait List!

Yeah! Today marks 2 months since we got on the wait list. With each passing day we are closer to becoming parents. It's also been 9 1/2 months since we started the adoption process, and I feel 9 1/2 months pregnant [but hopefully a little skinnier]!!!! :) If only I had a due date like most other mommas-to-be. That's one of the hardest parts.

But today we are celebrating that we have been waiting for 2 months. And who knows!?!?! Maybe we'll get a phone call quicker than the 6-8 months referral wait prediction we've been given. Can you send a Christmas prayer for that today? That's#1 on my Christmas list this year!

Ethiopia End of Year Giving

If you've been touched by our adoption this year, we want to invite you to give to our agency's building program in Ethiopia. They are doing a ROCKIN' building that will serve more orphans, widows, and adoptive parents. It's opening in Spring 2010 and they have some great [& cheap ways!] to give...

• Buy a limited edition Acacia Village t-shirt: Spread the word about Acacia Village by getting a t-shirt.
• Buy a Tree: For your donation of $45 or more, be the first in your town to show off the Acacia tree and help change and save lives!
  
• Care4Kids: Help give kids a warm welcome to Acacia Village through a variety of gift options: http://www.christianworldfoundation.org/care4kids/home.htm
• CWF Christmas Gift Catalog: Alternative giving that gives hope and opportunity to orphans and widows: http://www.cwa.org/documents/CWFChristmasCatalog2009.pdf

$3000 Grant - Denied

Just wanted to let you know that our application for a $3000 grant was denied. Bummer but it's okay. Brian and I are totally okay with it. God's taken care of everything to date, and we know his eye hasn't wandered from us. We believe that there are others out there who must need that money more than us! We trust that God was in control of this decision, too.

Thanks for praying! Would you say another prayer today asking God to EXPEDITE our babies homecoming?

Dark = Holy

This year I'm acutely aware of the duality of Christmas. I have some dear friends who are bringing home their LONG AWAITED adopted son tomorrow [!!!], and other friends who are filled with Christmas joy [new babies, marriages, relationships, or just a great year of life!]. I also have other friends who are experiencing their darkest holiday season: death, infertility, relationship destruction, away from those they love... This is the most dreaded time of the year...the song got it wrong for them. And they wish they could hibernate for 6 weeks until this season is over and the decorations have been put in storage. I'm living somewhere in between those worlds most days.

But there must be some hope and perspective in those dark places. C.S. Lewis says, "Why must holy places be dark places?" So darkness and holiness go together?!?! Apparently. They have for me and others I love. It's interesting that God's not afraid of the darkness. He's not adverse to it even. Stark contrast: dark places are holy, blameless, divine, sacred places to God.

My best childhood friend is mourning a miscarriage this Christmas, but her Christmas letter started with this verse: Psalm 118:5

"In my anguish I cried out to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free."

Freedom. Holiness. Those are descriptors of Christmas. So perhaps pain and Christmas have more in common with each other than a commercial Christmas leads us to believe!?!?

May you experience freedom and holiness in whatever place you are in this Christmas.
May your heart be tender toward those who are in dark places.
And may you find the ultimate Life this season.

Prayer for Orphans

My mom sent me this passage from Psalm 71. I had to read it at 2 different times because of the tears. May this Psalm be a prayer over our babies today and the 143 million orphans globally...

Psalm 71:1-8

O Lord, I have come to you for protection; don’t let me be disgraced.
Save me and rescue me, for you do what is right. Turn your ear to listen to me, and set me free.
Be my rock of safety where I can always hide. Give the order to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress.
My God, rescue me from the power of the wicked, from the clutches of cruel oppressors.
O Lord, you alone are my hope. I’ve trusted you, O Lord, from childhood.
Yes, you have been with me from birth; from my mother’s womb you have cared for me. No wonder I am always praising you!
My life is an example to many, because you have been my strength and protection.
That is why I can never stop praising you; I declare your glory all day long.

Zechariah's Poem

Our friend, Craig Joseph, wrote this poem last Christmas partially in response to a bunch of friends [us included] struggling with infertility. This Christmas, I stumbled upon Zechariah & Elizabeth's story again [Luke 1]. It's a different perspective of Christmas, but for myself and our friends who struggle with Christmas spirit this year, may Zechariah's story nourish you...

"Zechariah"
My silence speaks volumes:
Speaks of hollow reverberations in an empty womb,
Of my beloved’s muffled cries, hopeless, late at night,
Of unbroached topics between man and wife,
Isolated in their grief.

Speaks of a mute God
Who would not stoop to answer
The cacophony of impotent noise made by the righteous,
Striving to keep his commandments.

All this – echoes of despair, lost faith, abandonment.

My silence is God’s silence.

The lack of sound then resounds:
With the rustle of angels’ wings,
The gentle roar of a majestic announcement,
The metallic ring of a sword drawn in anger
Upon a fearful gasp
(An inrush of air
That cloaked a more resounding unbelief:
Faith as barren as a womb).

My silence is God’s answer, disbelieved.

But now I, mute and wildly motioning,
Fill the air with your laughter and endless queries,
Hearing what you cannot be aware of –
That to which divinely-imposed silence has bent my ear:

A distant cry from the beginning of time – from Creation –
Declaring that God will make the hearts of his people fertile again.
Yelled through the prophets (though most were deaf to this meaning),
Hollering through my son (hear that, and do not scoff,
Lest you be considered, Like I,
the town clown),
To announce itself shortly in a Bethlehem stable,
Calling to God’s people in stereo-surround sound.

My silence, alas, is God’s provision
That will not be silent for long.

Copyright 2008 Craig Joseph

Pain is God's Megaphone

I'm not one of those people who miraculously hears God's voice all the time. It's a struggle most days. But pain has definitely increased my listening ability and capacity. There's something about pain that makes me a little more desperate, a little more needy, a little more urgent to get the pain out of my life.

It's been another season where a lot of pain surrounds me. A number of friends this month that have struggled with infertility or baby pain, broken relationships, sin, and loss. Darkness surrounds them, but doesn't overwhelm them.

C.S. Lewis once wrote, "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains; it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” - The Problem of Pain

Lewis brilliantly notices that pleasure doesn't teach us much of anything, much less allow us to connect with the eternal, mysterious God of the Universe. Pain heightens that awareness. Pain turns our real need to hear God's voice into a felt need. We need a hearing aid, and pain is often that hearing aid.

My pain over the past couple years has been awful some days. Bearable other days. Present most days. Others' pain has also been with me many days. My hope and prayer for my pain and my friends is that our pain will rouse us. It will be a hearing aid from deafness to acute listening. And I pray that our pain will ultimately teach me and you how to live differently once the pain is gone so the megaphone becomes less critical to hearing his voice and knowing his heart.

Why Malawi?

In case you've been living under a rock, I'm in love with Africa. This past year Brian and I had an opportunity to go to Malawi and develop a partnership between Newsong and a new partner, Y-Malawi. Recently, Newsong began a campaign to further make a difference in Malawi. Over the next 9 months, our church is hoping to raise $50,000 for building wells, purchasing Talking Bibles, providing AIDS Caregiver Kits, and sponsoring 1,000 children. Check out this video sharing more about our trip and our partnership:

Unleash Campaign - Malawi from Newsong Church on Vimeo.

If you want more info or feel compelled to get involved, let's talk!!!

Refiner's Fire

"He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

[Malachi 3:3]

FROM OUR ADOPTION AGENCY:
This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study, and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it."

WOW! And incredibly humbling and challenging reminder of "why" waiting is required. And such a beautiful metaphor of the love of our God on us in the midst of the fire.

Traveling Companions

We've been blown away a thousand times over by the way people have supported, encouraged, and prayed specifically for us throughout our "growing our family" journey. Most recently, we've had some really good friends shared that they'd like to come with us to pick up our little ones [whenever that day comes]. They just need about $6000 to make that happen. So...

Would you pray that if they should come with us that God would provide the means? About $5000 of that cost is airfare, so maybe someone has a connection with that?

It would be a crazy blessing [more like a luxury!] to have friends come to help us with the pick-up - logistics, taking a million pics of our experience, and just supporting us. We'd love for you to shoot up a prayer or two about that. Who knows? God can do whatever he wants. :)

Why Africa?

Sometimes I feel a little weird. Sometimes I still get looks, questions, and skepticism about why I love Africa so much. After all, there are 5 other inhabited continents in the world with serious needs, issues, and injustices. Here are just a handful reasons today...

Africa is the hardest hit with orphaned kids. Eight out of ten children that are orphaned by AIDS live in Africa.

Africa accounts for only 10% of the world's population, but nearly 64% of the global burden of AIDS.

15,000 Africans are dying each day of preventable, treatable diseases - AIDS, malaria, TB - for lack of drugs that we take for granted.

In Africa, 165 of 1,000 kids [16.5%] die before their 5th birthday. In the U.S. and Europe, it's only 2 of 1,000!

Average life expectancy is 47 years in Sub-Saharan Africa, and between 35-40 for those countries hardest hit by HIV/AIDS. In the U.S., it's 78 years old.

Just a few reasons why I'm a little crazy about Africa. Wanna sponsor a child who's affected by AIDS & poverty? CLICK HERE to sponsor a child from the same village in Malawi as our sponsored kiddos.

Affluenza Meets Advent Conspiracy

This Christmas we're trying something a little different. We're trying to spend less and give more. We have so much and I don't know that my house can contain more gifts year after year and make my life "better". By the world's standards, we're pretty stinking rich. Even though I don't feel affluent by the O.C's standards [see http://globalrichlist.com/], we are. Wikipedia defines the common malady of “Affluenza” in the following way:

Affluenza, n. a painful, contagious, socially transmitted condition of overload, debt, anxiety and waste resulting from the dogged pursuit of more. (de Graaf, 2002)

1. The bloated, sluggish and unfulfilled feeling that results from efforts to keep up with the Jones's.

2. An epidemic of stress, overwork, waste and indebtedness caused by the pursuit of the American Dream.

3. An unsustainable addiction to economic growth. (PBS)

Resonate? This Christmas, we're joining thousands of others in the Advent Conspiracy. Wanna join us?

$3000 Grant - PRAY!

If you're much in the adoption world, you've probably heard of Shaohannah's Hope. It's the organization founded by Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman. Well, we've applied for a $3000 grant from them, and we should find out if we've received the grant by Christmas.

Would you pray for us to receive the $3000 grant? It would pretty much take care of the rest of our expenses (minus additional, non-related sibling fee, if necessary)!!!! It would be the best Christmas present.

HoHoHo. Merry Christmas!